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Recently I have found myself waking up from a mentally chaotic, emotionally difficult and physically stagnant cauchemar. It is like wiping an old mirror clean, under the thick grey layer of years past it is still as beautiful and functional as the day it was crafted. I am that mirror and I am awake. I can think with less distracting thoughts pulling me away with little chance of me returning anytime soon or at all. My favorite quote is by Alphonse Allais, “Ne remets pas à demain, ce que tu peux faire après-demain.” That was my modus operandi for as long as I have had memories.

After nearly a month of treatment I find that I do things because they need to be done. I still struggle with certain things, but that is nothing compared to the improvement to the quality of my life. I am more relaxed and take the time needed to get something done as opposed to flying through it. That is true for most activities. There is only one side effect that I have, dry mouth. It seems that is a common side effect of methylphenidate. I need to find a solution for it.

When my doctor told me to not to take the pill after 5 because it could keep me awake I did not listen very well. Needless to say I learned the hard way that a drug that is also used to treat chronic fatigue syndrome and narcolepsy would be really good at keeping you bright eyed and bushy tailed late into the night.

So things are looking good. I find that my dedication to work has increased meanwhile at home things have also improved. I no longer sacrifice chunks of my soul to keepers of WoW. I enjoy the game but I don’t feel the need to waste away while staring at a virtual environment. I have lost 14lbs since I don’t rush through my meals. That and snacking seems go have completely stopped.

Thank you medical science