Ah the joys of receiving money in the mail. It is always nice when money shows up unexpectedly at your door. It always seems like someone is watching out for you. Both me and my man have received money in the mail in the past few days. Yum. Time for some shoppin’.
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Yes, this is your bitter host. Boo! |
Early September I hurt my back. More specifically I developed a bulging disk in my back. OMFG it kills! I have never been in so much fucking pain. I have been living with this pain for a month now and still no real change. Various doctors have prescribed various drugs in varying strengths with similar results…none. The only thing that has helped is freakin’ oxycodone. I have been on a fucking narcotic for the better part of a month and I still am not getting better. It dulls the pain, but I want more than just pain dulling. I want progress.
I am tired of having to struggle to put on my socks sometimes failing all together. I smile to everyone, but I am tired. I can’t even shower on my own… I have my partner to help, but this is a lot to ask of him. I reached a point where I am afraid to ask for things from him because I know that he is tired of helping and I don’t blame him. But I can’t do it myself…
I have found myself crying because I am unable to perform simple tasks or the pain is overwhelming and I don’t see any hope. I have never felt so helpless before. I am hopeful that the physical therapy I have started will help me get through this, but I am concerned that I will be in this position for at least another month.
It has been a while since I did anything with my site. If any of you know me personally then you know why. Any hoo, I have decided to start writing my thoughts down on “paper” and this is the result. Hopefully I will entertain a few people and if I am lucky I will even piss a few off. Ahh. A man can dream, a man can dream…